Sixth Dumb Thing to Do
If you don’t get your personal stuff lined up with great sexual pleasure, you might well be screwing yourself.
• If you have personal garbage in your life that you haven’t been able to throw out, garbage that has caused you guilt and shame, then do something about it. It is dumb to allow that garbage to trash your self-esteem.
• If you have unhealthy thoughts about sexuality then bone up on the subject at hand and get beyond the limits imposed by your mental model.
• If you are emotionally constipated when it comes to sex, then do something to free yourself up. What is the problem? Look at the list here and clarify the issues. Then, get smart, adapt, change, do something different.
• If you have a “mental illness” that is getting in the way, it is dumb not to figure out how to work around it… if you can.

Seventh Dumb Thing to Do
It is possible that there are some spiritual and/or energetic issues that are behind your sexless problems.
• In 2003 there was much talk, for the first time really, about how drained so many people are. Not enough energy to make love. Too busy, too much of the time. Here in the United States we have been seduced into chasing after all sorts of material stuff as if the acquisition of things would bring us bliss. “Hi! How you doing? Busy?” That has become the standard greeting. Truth is, too many of us are so busy “making a living” that we haven’t the time to make love.
• The result is that many of us have unbalanced energy systems; our Chakras are out of balance and we don’t perform at optimum levels.
• And some of us have souls that are disturbed – souls that are struggling to find “center” and to stay there. It is as if a love affair with God has taken hold of us and we are in the midst of shifting our priorities and intentions. At these times sex often seems like a distraction, or like something that is somehow too self-indulgent and pleasure seeking.
• Sometimes, it is “dumb” to chase after counterfeit Gods as if bliss can be found at Walmart or Macy’s. Sometimes, it is dumb to slip the other way and become too ascetic in search of bliss, when all of creation was given to us for our delight.

There are other dumb things we do, too, but that list is the one you expected when you began to read this article of advice. They include the following:
• Getting frustrated and angry… demanding more sex. This always backfires.
• Purchasing penis enlargement gizmos that perpetuate the Grand Gland Illusion.
• Getting into too much masturbation, which trains your mind and body to expect immediate sexual  gratification.
• Turning to an affair for mere relief.
• Buying jells, creams, secrete potions… all claiming to give you “hot sex.”
• And finally, focusing on one area of struggle while ignoring the others! How common it is for a man to buy Viagra (or one of the others) as if that alone will solve the whole problem. So often it only increases the problem because she still doesn’t like him, and his selfish technique still frustrates her… but with Cialis (or one of the others) she can run into the dilemma more frequently!

Be smart and try the “8-Step Program for Getting UnStuck from Your Sexless Marriage” – which I have developed. You stand a much better chance of addressing your issues in a mature way if you do.

Dr. Atwood

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Hopeful Solutions for Your Sexless Marriage is the BIG, 137 page eBook written by Dr. Atwood. The companion volume is You Can Save Your Marriage. You can find both, and more, at www.HopefulSolutions.net. Dr. Andrew D. Atwood, LMFT. 534 Fountain St. NE, Grand Rapids, MI 49503 - Voice 616.456.1178 - Email DrAtwood@HopefulSolutions.net. ©2002-2004 Save Your Marriage, PLC. All rights reserved.

Disclaimer: The material presented on these pages if for your information only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. It may not represent your true individual medical situation. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting a qualified health care provider in person. Please consult your health care provider in person if you have any questions or concerns. Always use common sense and research your own personal situation thoroughly.

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