Do you suspect that your partner is cheating on you? If so, isn't it about time that you found out the truth?

Holding such emotions as jealousy, resentment and suspicion insideis toxic to both your emotional and physical health. If you havealready challenged your partner about what you suspect, you mayhave already accused of "imagining things" or being paranoid.

When a cheater tries to force you to mistrust your own gutinstincts it is called gas lighting. Gas lighting is not only lousy for your self-esteem it can keep you in a state of denial.
Sometimes your own instincts are so damaged by lies, secrets and defensive accusations that it may be necessary rely on a privatedetective or a portable lie detector to find out the truth.

However, there are several different signs that that a spouse might cheating.

IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT. "My partner kept saying how much he loved me, but avoided touching me physically for months! " You start wondering if he or she might be having an affair. Is it jealousy, your imagination or is he or she just paying less attention to you because there are other problems in the relationship? If your partner won't discuss issues with you, particularly if there is a lack of sexual intimacy, then you might have a cheater on your hands.

A SUDDEN CHANGE IN ROUTINE. "He used to call me whenever he was going to work late but now I have no idea whether or not he will be home at all! When I ask for an explanation, he loses his temper."
Is he or she staying out a lot later than usual, not showing up for dinner or unable to account for his or her whereabouts? Do they react with rage and accuse you of being the Spanish Inquisition if
you ask them to account for missing time? Changes of routine can indicate infidelity.

HE OR SHE IS MORE ATTENTIVE THAN USUAL. "He tells me he is rewarding me with presents just for existing, but I would rather he were home more often." If you are suddenly showered with gifts and compliments for no reason, then he or she might be trying to make up for guilty feelings.

HE OR SHE CONSTANTLY PICKS FIGHTS WITH YOU. "I know a fight is coming because she tries to rub salt on old wounds by reminding me of a time I was in the wrong. I get so frustrated I end up yelling and she slams out of the house." In this case, the cheating spouse is looking for a reason to blame you for their necessity to leave.
The emotional logic behind this is that picking a fight gives him or her to an excuse to fly out of the house and possibly into the arms of the third party. That way the cheating partner can deny
guilty feelings and blame you instead. If you are not to blame, a cheater will always create a reason to justify what he or she is doing to you.

YOUR MATE IS SARCASTIC OR CRITICAL OF YOU. "He is always calling me stupid, and when I cry, he tells me I am pathetic and leaves."
This is part of an agenda that once again, gives him or her an excuse to leave or justify the affair. The guilty partner might also be overly sensitive to criticism from you as there may be a
ring of truth that triggers guilty feelings that they would rather not face.

YOUR PARTNER USES ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP AS AN ULTIMATUM. "It is always her way or the highway. If I don't agree to every little thing, then she threatens to leave me." If every time you have fight your partner threatens you with ending the relationship, you might also have a cheater on your hands. Your lover feels safe giving these ultimatums because there is another person as
"back-up" should the two of you decide to split up.

YOUR PARTNER IS NEGATIVE. "I don't like the way my wife keeps telling me that we will always be friends even after this ends.
This makes me think - why is she envisioning a future without me?"
Another sign of cheating is a consistent negative attitude towards the relationship and comments that make you feel as if you have an expiry date inked on your forehead. This might include saying such things as "I would like to travel next year." (with no mention of a "we") or "You know I will always love you, even when this ends."

How To Catch a Cheating Spouse

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